Qantas "Gripe Sheet"

[SudCaravelle]

Disse er morsomme - jeg har hørt at det faktisk er tilfelle?

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form,
and
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'
pilots
(marked P) and the solutions recorded (marked S) by maintenance
engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed. >>

And the best one for last...

P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

 

[fjasebase]

Dette er en gjenganger rundt om på internett. Tror nok ikke det er tilfelle

 

[LN-MOW]

Denne er like gammel som Internett selv .. Saavidt jeg vet er 'originalen' en samling fra USAF-loggboeker ...

 

[Stone]

Gamle er de men like fornøyelige uansett. Man har også observert en del andre vittigheter av lignende kaliber opp gjennom årene. Jeg er redd for at rommet for slikt nok har blitt noe mindre etter hvert. Ikke at jeg vil kalle QA-avdelinger og LT for humørløse akkurat, men likevel....^_^

Uansett er det påfallende at akkurat Qantas oppgis som kilde på svært mange slike vandrehistorier. Det ville også overraske meg om de har IFF installert på sine fly.... (Identification Friend or Foe) for ikke å snakke om Target Radar.. :wow:

 

[Fnate]

Takk for det innlegget. Fikset kvelden min. Ekte eller ikke.